Sunday, December 7, 2014

What happened when I tried to do too much, too soon.

Yesterday I went to the Relief Society Super Saturday, my first time with all 3 kids, alone. For those that don't know, I am the 1st councilor for RS here in Williams Lake, so I felt like I needed to be there. In addition, the RS president wanted me to make (gluten-free/grain-free) buns and 2 dozen cookies. For whatever reason, she has not been very understanding about the time it takes to recover and adjust after having a baby. I'm not sure why, but there is definitely something weird there. I didn't make any buns or cookies, I just couldn't.
Anyways, it was extremely stressful getting all the kids there. Angus screamed and cried the entire drive, and then he clung to my side once there and made whining noises, refusing to talk.  Eventually he calmed down and went to play, but then Wilder woke up and I had to see to him. I was completely exhausted by this point. It's not like it was a horrible experience, just exhausting and stressful. And suddenly, without any warning, I got hit with uncontrollable shakes and chills. One minute I was warm and toasty, the next I was freezing, icy icy cold, and I couldn't stop shaking. At the same time, My legs and head started to ache. I tried to stick it out, but I couldn't. I had to leave. I could barely stand to let go of the (warm) baby to put him in his car seat. My fingers could barely do up the buckles. Once in the car, I had to blast the heat. It wasn't even very cold out, only -2. But I couldn't get warm.
Once we got home, I gave Owen and Angus the iPad, turned the heat up, pulled on my thick fleece robe, and climbed under the covers. I was still icy cold. Thankfully the baby was sleeping, but I knew Owen and Angus were going to need me, and I couldn't--I just couldn't--get out from under the covers. I knew Angus' diaper needed to be changed, but thinking of getting out of bed made me actually start crying. I called Ben at work, but he wasn't sure when he'd be able to get away. He called Abby (sis in law), and she said she'd come over and look after the kids for me. So I lay there in bed, icy cold, shivering and suffering. It was awful.  I wasn't sure how long it was going to last, and how I would be able to bear it.  And then I remembered the atonement. How Christ took upon himself all the pains of the world, not just the guilt and shame of sin, but all of it, so that He would know how to comfort us. Remembering this, I said a prayer, asking for comfort.  Even as I was praying, waves of warmth began to roll over me. I was so grateful. I wasn't all of a sudden better--I was still achey all over and I was still cold, but it was bearable--so much better than before. And then Abby came and heated up my magic bag for me, and eventually I was warm.
So there is my little contribution about my experience with the atonement. It's not the most inspiring story ever, but I think it's important to remember that the atonement is there for us to use, not just when we are repenting, but any time we are in pain.

2 comments:

  1. So sorry Bethany---wish I had been there. But even better for my mother's heart that you found comfort even more reliable and always available. Its a very sweet story. It is OK to say no sometimes---even to stay home from church if you need to.
    Take the best care you can of the most precious thing your children have----YOU. And take time to feed yourself spiritually too. I know the Lord will continue to bless you and help you as a Mom. I'm certain he loves it when we are humble enough to seek and heed his help.

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  2. i think it is very inspiring and it made me cry. i always need reminders like this. Christ can comfort us exactly as we need and he is there for every need.

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