Monday, December 29, 2014

to be lifted up--------uplifted

Before Christmas I had to give a talk on  "The learning process is endless"  and I chose to talk about how our learning about the Atonement needed to be endless.  Here is my talk in part:

Tad R Callester of the Seventies has said "Every attempt to reflect upon the atonement, to study it, to embrace it, to express appreciation for it, however small or feeble it may be, will kindle the fires of faith & work its miracle towards a more Christlike life "

Is not that the greatest of all miracles that we all want----to be more Christlike ?

I have heard even prophets and apostles say how each time they go to the Temple they strive to learn more about the atonement and feel they are only beginning to scratch the surface.

Perhaps the reason it is so important for us to keep learning about the atonement is because the more deeply & fully we understand it, the easier it will be for us to have faith, repent, & grow & live a little better day by day.  And that, after all, is what this University of Mortality is all about--------we don't get a degree, we get a character.  As we internalize the truths of the atonement & take it into our souls &  into our minds & hearts-----it truly can heal us from all things-----whatever kind of healing we may need.   Yes it is wonderful medicine to heal us from serious sins-----but it can help us with so much more.  And I think we all need all the help we can get.

One of the greatest manuals on earth to teach  about the atonement is The Book of Mormon.  The prophets & apostles are also good sources.

To me one of the most beautiful aspects of the atonement is its enabling grace.  I have been uplifted and enabled so many times to do things that otherwise completely overwhelmed me.

I would like to share one example I hope you will not find silly or mundane.  The atonement is to help with every day life, and I do not push a handcart through the snow in life threatening conditions, but like you I have my struggles that try me, & I have felt angels helping me.

I call this incident  "the rainbow connection".  It is about making a quilt for Christmas for somebody special who I love very much.  and I hope you will be able to see  that the making of the quilt is in part like the building of my life.

I started the quilt 5 years ago.  I dreamed how it should be in sort of a rough way----and I completed the back---because it was a double sided quilt.  The back was definitely the easy part.  But like so many projects and plans in our lives---it got put on the back burner.  Every so often I would get it out and look at it and ponder on how to finish it, but then it got put away again as other projects came to the fore.  But this Christmas as I was working on gifts for people in my family, the type of gifts I was making did not seem to be appropriate for this loved one.  Gradually it dawned on me that this was the year I should finish the quilt and give it to her.  Some times mothers know they just have to do somethings.

But of course there was a time frame & an urgency-----someone was coming to visit from out----wait a minute---I am writing this for family now-----the quilt was for Martha and Sarah was coming for a  brief visit and could take it home.   And before that, Bethany was going to have her baby and I would be away 2 weeks and unable to work on it.  So I had to get it done before my trip to Williams Lake.   It was a tall order for me.

I started in & everything ran quite smoothly.  My ideas seemed to be working. Even though I was using a really large sheet of fabric---the size almost of a queen size bed----and I was sewing appliques onto it -----which is very awkward as you have to pass it all under the needle of the machine, and manipulate and turn it-----When you do that, with that much cloth involved, invariably you accidentally catch some of the cloth that you don't intend & then you have to use your seam ripper and pick it out.  It never happened-----not once.  Usually, no matter what I am sewing,  my seam ripper is my most often used tool-----it's part of me & sewing.  Not this time.  As I kept sewing more things onto the quilt and it seemed to be progressing  quite speedily,  I began to sense that I was getting help making this quilt.

I should say here that certain things had to be on this quilt-----it had to have a big sun, because she was our sunshine, and it had to have muffins because she was our muffin & it had to have angels on it because she is my angel daughter, and because when she had her first psychotic episode, and John came to give her a priesthood blessing ( Dad was away) & she was shaking uncontrollably, we huddled bewildered together in my bed and she said to me  " Angels helping angels, right Mom?"  But then I realized it also had to have a rainbow, because rainbows are special to Martha.  They seem to uplift her and give her a boost of faith and hope.


I was a little worried about making the rainbow.  I had no pattern.  I dug through my cupboards to find the seven colours.  I had to go to my closet and use one of my shirts to get the orange.   Then without a pattern I cut them all out----miraculously they all fit together.  I didn't have to cut any of them more than once.  So then it was time to sew them onto the quilt.  I knew I was asking for trouble because they of course were all cut on the curve, which means they would stretch when sewed, and because they were all different types of fabric they would all stretch differently.  Not only that, I had to sew them on with the satin applique stitch which is a zig zag stitch really close together so that the edges wouldn't fray---and that stitch always tends to stretch fabric.  So I thought I would be dealing with a lot of puckering and a lot of problems.

With a prayer on my lips I started in-----& much to my amazement it went  smoothly and without a hitch.  I sewed the whole rainbow without a single pucker or any hint of a problem.  I felt very humbled and very blessed.  I was in awe because I knew for sure I was being "enabled"  over and above my own abilities.

It may seem a little unimportant thing to some, but it meant a lot to me.  It meant to me that the Lord was magnifying my efforts to show Martha that I loved her, in a way that was very obvious to me.  Even more than that it was a visual object lesson such as the Lord has given me from time to time that I can return to again and again.  If he will take the time to help me with something as small and seemingly insignificant as a rainbow on a whimsical quilt---how much more is he willing to help me & enable me with the really important struggles I am dealing with in my life---the one's that have to do with eternal family relationships. Some times our struggles take years to play out and we may fail to see the Lord's hand is guiding us and helping us, but we may rest assured that it is always there if we are pleading for it and seeking it.  And now when I have a concern that threatens my peace, I say to myself---but remember the rainbow.

I'm sorry this is turning out a lot longer than my talk.  I shared a scripture here that I love----Helaman 3:29
"Yea, we see  that whosoever will may lay hold upon the word of God, which is quick and powerful, which shall divide asunder all the cunning and the snares and the wiles of the devil, and lead the man of Christ in a strait and narrow course across that everlasting gulf of misery which is prepared to engulf the wicked

And land their souls, yea their immortal souls, at the right hand of God in the kingdom of heaven, to  sit down with Abraham, and Isaac, and with Jacob, and with all our holy fathers, to go no more out "

The two words that are most meaningful to me are, first, across----it doesn't say we have to wade laboriously through the gulf of misery----it puts in mind a bridge---that enables us to go across it.
The second word is ---land----which reminds me of a skilled fly fisherman who with great skill, casts his line and lands the fly precisely where he wants it.  He says he will do that with our souls.

I have realized that I am the kind of person who cares really deeply and tries really hard, and I hold on very tightly to what I am doing----and many times the Lord is trying to get through to me----wait a minute---you don't have to do this all yourself---in fact you can't do it yourself---I am shaking you up for a reason---I am trying to shake you loose, so you will let go and let me lift you up and over a lot of anguish-----by your putting your trust in me---simply doing what you know I want you to do and not worrying about the outcome.----knowing you are in skilled hands and I will land you where you will want to be.

To me  this is the essence of the enabling grace of the atonement.  And it seems that most often I must be faced with a situation that is totally overwhelming for me before I will accept this grace and let it do its miracles.

Did the quilt turn out perfectly ?   Of course not.  It is lopsided here and there, and has many flaws, like most things that I make------but I feel pretty good about the way it turned out.  Most important , I think it makes the statement I wanted it to make to Martha----that I love  her and that she is special to me.

And so it is with my life.  Neither is it turning out perfectly.  Few things in mortality do.  But with the enabling grace of the atonement I have the hope that my life's efforts will make the statements that I want them to, that my family members, loved ones and friends will know that I love them.  I have the hope that I can learn how to love and to give and to live with all my heart and to build eternally enduring relationships and to live a quality of life that is eternal.  It is the quest of a lifetime.

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