Broken
While I was at girls came this year, we had the privilege of having kenneth cope come and he performed and spoke to us and he was as amazing as I thought he would be. This is one of my favorite songs that he performed. How often do we feel broken and small and useless? I know I do. It can be so discouraging. This song really spoke to me. It's ok that I'm broken. I'm supposed to be. I was made that way. It's part of His plan that we have weaknesses. If we bring our weaknesses to Him, he can heal our broken pieces. I had a hard day yesterday with my kids. They woke up really early, disobeyed me over and over again, made giant messes of things i had just cleaned... and when I have hard days with them I can't help but wonder why I'm a mother. Why am I even having another one? Am I crazy??? I am so bad at this... Of course, being hormonal a pregnant doesn't help. But then I remembered this song, and I listened to it, and I cried and I remembered that it's ok. I'm broken and I'm doing the best I can. The saviour will help fill in the cracks and hopefully my kids know that I love them even though I can get very upset with them. I have a lot to work on. Anyway, make sure you click on the link at the top and give it a listen!
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Saturday, November 29, 2014
Tell them I was not his Father...
Another Christmas song that reminds of the Atonement----the Michael McLean one where Joseph is singing about his relationship with Jesus, and he is lamenting how a carpenter so foolish and so flawed, could ever hope to raise the son of God...and then he tells how Jesus found the tender moments -------to let me know I'd done just fine.
So we need to be close enough to the Saviour so we hear those tender moments when he is trying to tell us that too. Then he smiled at me, me and my drum. It's what we all need. None of us can get back home without knowing he feels this way about us for real.
So we need to be close enough to the Saviour so we hear those tender moments when he is trying to tell us that too. Then he smiled at me, me and my drum. It's what we all need. None of us can get back home without knowing he feels this way about us for real.
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
good tidings of great joy
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
by Thomas Cole
And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
by Ruth Sanderson
don't know the artist, but i think it's beautiful
Copyright Daniel Bonnell www.BonnellArt.com
maybe shepherds are nobodies, alone in the dark in a field. maybe they were tired and all wrapped up in their life's work. maybe some were lonely or bored. maybe some were dreamers or thinkers, or angry, or had family drama. maybe they were just regular people living out the lives they were born into. and that night the light shone on them and around them. and the message was joy and peace and good will and it probably filled them up to bursting with wonder and amazement and light. i like that it was shepherds who received the message. because the angel said it was for all people. it's for regular every day people in the midst of their lives and life's work, in all states of mind and being. it's for everyone. it's even for me. and if there is anything this world needs it's peace and joy and good will to all men. i wish i could have witnessed it. i love this last painting. i like to think maybe it wasn't just the future pavarotis that were in the heavenly choir. maybe it was regular rejoicers like me.
when i was on my mission, my first area was in handen where the temple was. the temple president was in my ward and his name was president wennerlund and he quoted this scripture to me one day.
When the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy?--job 38:7
he said i was a morning star. i hope that's true. and i hope i can sing my praise and joy now too. in the way i live and the things i do. because it's still true. God gave us Christ and all goodness and joy and light come from him. and because of him there can be peace even in the middle of a dark field or a dark heart or the storms of life. i really believe in that, and i'm trying to exercise more faith in it.
good news... it's so ordinary sounding. :)
Let the mountains shout for joy, and all ye valleys cry aloud; and all ye seas and dry lands tell the wonders of your Eternal King! And ye rivers, and brooks, and rills, flow down with gladness. Let the woods and all the trees of the field praise the Lord; and ye solid rocks weep for joy! And let the sun, moon, and the morning stars sing together, and let all the sons of God shout for joy! And let the eternal creations declare his name forever and ever! And again I say, how glorious is the voice we hear from heaven, proclaiming in our ears, glory, and salvation, and honor, and immortality, and eternal life; kingdoms, principalities, and powers!--d&c 128:23
Dad has been reading to me out of our book over the phone and we have been discussing it---which in and of itself is a beautiful thing.That is enough to give me joy. Each chapter in the book discusses a different way in which the Atonement is infinite. The chapter we have just finished has been discussing how the Atonement is infinite in it's ability to exalt us.
Relative to the discussion has been how we are to believe that we can be perfect , even as our Father in |Heaven and Jesus Christ are perfect. I remember as a teenager when I was investigating the Church I asked the Missionaries if they thought people could be perfect----and I waited, intensely interested in what their answer would be-----and they hesitated, wondering what I was hoping to hear----but boldly gave the answer they knew was right.----they said yes. That affected me deeply. Later when I was reading the Book of Mormon and praying and asking if it were true-----something I did every night for almost a week and I was almost at the end of the Book of Mormon----how it took me so long I can not now imagine, but miraculously, by the power of the Holy Ghost, a scripture came to my mind, even though I had not stopped to ponder or mark any----Moroni 7:13-16. That is when it came into my heart and mind that every concept I had been taught and the way the church was organized would be the most powerful motivating uplifting force that I could ever imagine, on my life I felt that if a person knew he was a child of God, with a divine potential, it would deeply affect the way he acted. Robert Browning wrote in one of his poems---"....a man's reach should exceed his grasp, else what's a heaven for." I also have felt that the very fact that we can conceive of perfection is indicative of our innate divine potential
Of course that is why the Atonement is so absolutely necessary for all of us because our vision of how good we would like to be is always above what we actually seem to pull off, even giving it our best shot. The comfort of knowing that Christ will enable us to do things we can't do ourselves and will never give up on us and will continually lead us gradually upward is so totally comforting that it allows doubt and fear to drain away and enables us to perform at an optimum level because of our inner assurance that his grace can give us. It is so simple and so beautiful and nothing else can be as powerfully and eternally effective. There is a song I have heard, but can't remember what it is called that talks about how having faith in Christ enables us to feel serene, like a child at home----rather than a guest or stranger who is on egg shells about being on his best behaviour. I also think of the difference in a child's development if their parents are really harsh and always on their case about how they are not measuring up as compared to the development a child might experience if he is in a loving home where he receives lots of love and positive reinforcement.------How the former might have a compelling drive to achieve---to please----being driven by his insecurities as it were, whereas the latter should be able truly blossom and develop his potential----because he feels so secure.
Throughout my life, my understanding of the enabling grace of the Atonement has grown---it still takes an effort on my part to recall and exercise my faith and feel that deep serenity, but I testify that it is possible for all of us to have it to help us. I testify that the way I perceive myself and my life, I need it and that it has been my greatest help and enabled me to hang onto all that is good in my life. I testify that it is the answer to each and every one's life's predicaments. It truly lifts me out of my dark hours and shows me the little steps forward I need to keep taking and helps me to have joy along the way.
Recently I have read another beautiful book I lucked out finding at a Garage Sale that I think you can find out more about if you Google it on-line. It is written by a christian woman Kay Warren and is called "Choose Joy, because happiness is not enough" It is really really good----I love it. I think you would really like it too Laura. I know she has some things on line. She is very down to earth and humble.....and has a lot of faith in the Saviour.
I too relate to the tears and the darkness----I'm afraid , my daughters, that some of you may get that from me----but hey, I'm not the originater of genes. Kay Warren calls her personality type an Eeyore----but no matter what our natural tendencies, the Atonement is the answer. And the deeper the sorrow the greater the joy.----that is the duality of mortality. We know Jacob said so------2Nephi 2;22-25.
Love you all
Relative to the discussion has been how we are to believe that we can be perfect , even as our Father in |Heaven and Jesus Christ are perfect. I remember as a teenager when I was investigating the Church I asked the Missionaries if they thought people could be perfect----and I waited, intensely interested in what their answer would be-----and they hesitated, wondering what I was hoping to hear----but boldly gave the answer they knew was right.----they said yes. That affected me deeply. Later when I was reading the Book of Mormon and praying and asking if it were true-----something I did every night for almost a week and I was almost at the end of the Book of Mormon----how it took me so long I can not now imagine, but miraculously, by the power of the Holy Ghost, a scripture came to my mind, even though I had not stopped to ponder or mark any----Moroni 7:13-16. That is when it came into my heart and mind that every concept I had been taught and the way the church was organized would be the most powerful motivating uplifting force that I could ever imagine, on my life I felt that if a person knew he was a child of God, with a divine potential, it would deeply affect the way he acted. Robert Browning wrote in one of his poems---"....a man's reach should exceed his grasp, else what's a heaven for." I also have felt that the very fact that we can conceive of perfection is indicative of our innate divine potential
Of course that is why the Atonement is so absolutely necessary for all of us because our vision of how good we would like to be is always above what we actually seem to pull off, even giving it our best shot. The comfort of knowing that Christ will enable us to do things we can't do ourselves and will never give up on us and will continually lead us gradually upward is so totally comforting that it allows doubt and fear to drain away and enables us to perform at an optimum level because of our inner assurance that his grace can give us. It is so simple and so beautiful and nothing else can be as powerfully and eternally effective. There is a song I have heard, but can't remember what it is called that talks about how having faith in Christ enables us to feel serene, like a child at home----rather than a guest or stranger who is on egg shells about being on his best behaviour. I also think of the difference in a child's development if their parents are really harsh and always on their case about how they are not measuring up as compared to the development a child might experience if he is in a loving home where he receives lots of love and positive reinforcement.------How the former might have a compelling drive to achieve---to please----being driven by his insecurities as it were, whereas the latter should be able truly blossom and develop his potential----because he feels so secure.
Throughout my life, my understanding of the enabling grace of the Atonement has grown---it still takes an effort on my part to recall and exercise my faith and feel that deep serenity, but I testify that it is possible for all of us to have it to help us. I testify that the way I perceive myself and my life, I need it and that it has been my greatest help and enabled me to hang onto all that is good in my life. I testify that it is the answer to each and every one's life's predicaments. It truly lifts me out of my dark hours and shows me the little steps forward I need to keep taking and helps me to have joy along the way.
Recently I have read another beautiful book I lucked out finding at a Garage Sale that I think you can find out more about if you Google it on-line. It is written by a christian woman Kay Warren and is called "Choose Joy, because happiness is not enough" It is really really good----I love it. I think you would really like it too Laura. I know she has some things on line. She is very down to earth and humble.....and has a lot of faith in the Saviour.
I too relate to the tears and the darkness----I'm afraid , my daughters, that some of you may get that from me----but hey, I'm not the originater of genes. Kay Warren calls her personality type an Eeyore----but no matter what our natural tendencies, the Atonement is the answer. And the deeper the sorrow the greater the joy.----that is the duality of mortality. We know Jacob said so------2Nephi 2;22-25.
Love you all
Monday, November 24, 2014
A Hallelujah Christmas - Cloverton Music Video (with lyrics)
http://youtu.be/rZvJa-2aln8?list=PLJ3nj0AEos_gDarEyA-uVQ4XOv5uLcTr-
post edit--go to the link above to see the video.
Saturday, November 22, 2014
upon them hath the light shined
i have been crying all day. it isn't anything and at the same time it's the biggest battle i've ever had. i can't name the cause. i can't say this is why. there's just this deep pool of sadness that i trip into. i'm trying so hard but some days are just worse than others and i don't know why. i watched a conference address by lorne c. dunn from april 1974 called holding on. it was really good. one of the things i am doing to hold on is to pray and study the scriptures. today i had some doozy prayers. and then i blew my nose a lot and wiped my tears and settled in to study at renee's desk. first i wrote down in my study journal about how i was feeling. this is an excerpt, "i just have to hope that God can do it. that he can help me. maybe if i just keep going, eventually i'll see the light, a change, maybe i'll have more good days than bad. maybe i'll understand what to do. maybe i'll have the courage to do it....i hope i can come out of these dark days." then i stopped and looked up what was next on my list of scriptures to read. it was isaiah 9:2
"The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined." i love this scripture. it reminds me that there is salvation from darkness. there are many kinds of darknesses. it can be grief, or depression, or just being lost in life. it can be the darkness of not knowing what to do or where to go, or how to act. it can be discouragement, and lies that we start to believe about not being good enough or worthy of love, or whatever. there are many forms and shades of darkness in this world. and the shadow of death--there are many ways of dying. it can be real physical death, or it can be separation and loss. it can be death of something good inside of you, or the withering of your soul. it can be losing the desire to really live.
but there is light. and the source of all light is Jesus. he is the light of the world.
For verily I say unto you that I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the light and the life of the world—a light that shineth in darkness and the darkness comprehendeth it not. --D&C 45:7
and if darkness is a kind of despair, then light is comfort.
Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.--matthew 5:4
O Lord my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me.
O Lord, thou hast brought up my soul from the grave: thou hast kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit.
For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.--psalms 30:2-5
joy cometh in the morning. i love that. i hope in that because:For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlastingFather, The Prince of Peace. --isaiah 9:6
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