Dad has been reading to me out of our book over the phone and we have been discussing it---which in and of itself is a beautiful thing.That is enough to give me joy.  Each chapter in the book discusses a different way in which the Atonement is infinite.  The chapter we have just finished has been discussing how the Atonement is infinite in it's ability to exalt us.
       Relative to the discussion has been how we are to believe that we can be perfect , even as our Father in |Heaven and Jesus Christ are perfect.  I remember as a teenager when I was investigating the Church I asked the Missionaries if they thought people could be perfect----and I waited, intensely interested in what their answer would be-----and they hesitated, wondering what I was hoping to hear----but boldly gave the answer they knew was right.----they said yes.  That affected me deeply.  Later when I was reading the Book of Mormon and praying and asking if it were true-----something I did every night for almost a week and I was almost at the end of the Book of Mormon----how it took me so long I can not now imagine, but miraculously, by the power of the Holy Ghost, a scripture came to my mind, even though I had not stopped to ponder or mark any----Moroni 7:13-16.  That is when it came into my heart and mind that every concept I had been taught and the way the church was organized would be the most powerful motivating uplifting force that I could ever imagine, on my life I felt that if a person knew he was a child of God, with a divine potential, it would deeply affect the way he acted.  Robert Browning wrote in one of his poems---"....a man's reach should exceed his grasp, else what's a heaven for."  I also have felt that the very fact that we can conceive of perfection is indicative of our innate divine potential
      Of course that is why the Atonement is so absolutely necessary for all of us because our vision of how good we would like to be is always above what we actually seem to pull off, even giving it our best shot.  The comfort of knowing that Christ will enable us to do things we can't do ourselves and will never give up on us and will continually lead us gradually upward is so totally comforting that it allows doubt and fear to drain away and enables us to perform at an optimum level because of our inner assurance that his grace can give us. It is so simple and so beautiful and nothing else can be as powerfully and eternally effective.  There is a song I have heard, but can't remember what it is called that talks about how having faith in Christ enables us to feel serene, like a child at home----rather than a guest or stranger who is on egg shells about being on his best behaviour.  I also think of the difference in a child's development if their parents are really harsh and always on their case about how they are not measuring up as compared to the development a child might experience if he is in a loving home where he receives lots of love and positive reinforcement.------How the former might have a compelling drive to achieve---to please----being driven by his insecurities as it were, whereas the latter should be able truly blossom and develop his potential----because he feels so secure.
        Throughout my life,  my understanding of the enabling grace of the Atonement has grown---it still takes an effort on my part to recall and exercise my faith and feel that deep serenity, but I testify that it is possible for all of us to have it to help us.  I testify that the way I perceive myself and my life, I need it and that it has been my greatest help and enabled me to hang onto all that is good in my life.  I testify that it is the answer to each and every one's life's predicaments.  It truly lifts me out of my dark hours and shows me the little steps forward I need to keep taking and helps me to have joy along the way.
       Recently I have read another beautiful book I lucked out finding at a Garage Sale that I think you  can find out more about if you Google it on-line.  It is written by a christian woman   Kay Warren    and is called  "Choose Joy, because happiness is not enough"   It is really really good----I love it.  I think you would really like it too Laura.  I know she has some things on line.  She is very down to earth and humble.....and has a lot of faith in the Saviour.
       I too relate to the tears and the darkness----I'm afraid , my daughters, that some of you may get that from me----but hey, I'm not the originater of genes.  Kay Warren calls her personality type an Eeyore----but no matter what our natural tendencies, the Atonement is the answer.  And the deeper the sorrow the greater the joy.----that is the duality of mortality.  We know Jacob said so------2Nephi 2;22-25.

Love you all