Broken
While I was at girls came this year, we had the privilege of having kenneth cope come and he performed and spoke to us and he was as amazing as I thought he would be. This is one of my favorite songs that he performed. How often do we feel broken and small and useless? I know I do. It can be so discouraging. This song really spoke to me. It's ok that I'm broken. I'm supposed to be. I was made that way. It's part of His plan that we have weaknesses. If we bring our weaknesses to Him, he can heal our broken pieces. I had a hard day yesterday with my kids. They woke up really early, disobeyed me over and over again, made giant messes of things i had just cleaned... and when I have hard days with them I can't help but wonder why I'm a mother. Why am I even having another one? Am I crazy??? I am so bad at this... Of course, being hormonal a pregnant doesn't help. But then I remembered this song, and I listened to it, and I cried and I remembered that it's ok. I'm broken and I'm doing the best I can. The saviour will help fill in the cracks and hopefully my kids know that I love them even though I can get very upset with them. I have a lot to work on. Anyway, make sure you click on the link at the top and give it a listen!
thanks for sharing this song sarah. i listened to it many times. who knows what masterpiece he will make from our broken pieces--especially broken hearts and contrite spirits.
ReplyDeleteThat was a beautiful post Sarah. You've learned the secret we all need to learn-----that is why we are so lucky to be Mom's-----it can bring you to your knees faster and more completely than anything because we love our kid's so much and want to be so perfect for them and we can't be no matter how hard we try. You don't think all idealistic Mom's feel that way ? Heavenly Father sends his spirits to imperfect inexperienced hormonal women---all part of the plan. I am so deeply grateful you are learning that lesson way faster than I did. Imperfect Mom's who understand the Atonement make the best Mom's of all. Your children DO know you love them and you have a testimony of the Saviour to help them, because they are going to find out many times in life that they are inadequate, broken, frightened, and having parents who appear perfect just can't help them prepare for that. Our children need to experience some of our imperfections and struggles and see how we deal with that. Trust me---I have had hundreds of days like that----and have thought how crazy I must have been to have 12. It totally humbled me Sarah, and that is what I needed. If it isn't from having kids the Lord will try to find other ways to humble us and keep us relying on him. It seems that we all need to go thru things that are way too hard for us or we never truly get to know the Saviour. Sorry to tell you it doesn't end when your kids are all out of the house. But the neat thing about having your growing pains around your family is that you are building an eternal kingdom and it is so beautiful and all worth it. The way I looked at it sometimes is that if we all need to experience big challenges , so in having a big family I was hoping I was choosing my challenges and avoiding some others---there are some pretty awful one's out there. I am so glad you have a testimony of the Saviour's atonement. Keep building and deepening that testimony every way you can because it is the only remedy I know that makes bad Mommy's good and you will have great joy as a mother. ( sorry---you just couldn't have that without the hard times ) I couldn't be prouder of you than I am.
ReplyDeleteLove, love ,love